How is my college admissions essay? what are my strong points? whats it on a scare of 1-10. Do I stay focused?

Asked by Devin
Looking back, I could have never imagined my life would be shaped so greatly by a group of preschoolers nearly a sixth of my age. A few years ago, I might also have laughed with disagreement at the statement, “he who teaches children learns more than they do.” A special group of 3 year-olds came I'm last fall to learn from me, and left teaching me more than I could ever ask for. Before taking child-development, or even before high school, I was very unsure of myself. During class I was taught to build my preschoolers self-concept, but I often said to myself, “How can I teach these kids confidence, when I don’t even feel it myself?” From them though, I have grown to believe the statement, “You can learn many things from children.” Those 3 year-olds, no matter what got in their way, they were open to whatever was presented to them, and they respected each other with value. One instance that really stood out at me, was between two boys this past spring. Calvin, a shy boy, was crying under the jungle gym. Without hesitation, another young boy, Josh, immediately asked Calvin what was wrong, and to play. As a common act in my preschool, one child saw an opportunity to help someone, and acted. The dozen children I worked with were the most non-judgmental, respectful group I have never met. Angela Schwindt had said, “While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” My experience working with them not only helped me accept others regardless of our differences, but to accept myself. I began to fully believe in myself and develop my own self-concept. From them I had an inner confidence, and I learned to love life, and to teach others to love as well. Those sometimes overwhelming, but always loving 3 year-olds are the main reason I live my life the way I do today, and the main reason why I love, and always will want to continue teaching. It can only be about 250 words long and this one is currenly at just under 350. What points do you like? what do you think can get cut out...rate this essay this essay was written based on the topic... talk about a life changing expirience... not anything about the university.. and well I want to be a teacher and they are the reason why... My life seriously has been pretty dull otherwise