When applying to Harvard or Yale, why doesn't everyone just include Chuck Norris in their admission Essays?

Asked by Bowman® Princess Catti-brie VT
like... that's totally dumb from the people, don't they understand that just writing about Chuck Norris guarantees you an admission to these schools? I mean, they don't dare to deny an aplicant that wrote an essay on Chuck Norris because Chuck Norris would come out of that effing essay and kick them up in their most painful parts and send them to mars. Chuck Norris is the key to get into Ivy schools. He'll give you a roudhouse kick to the face and say "Get into college", and it will happen. Believe me, it will... Chuck Norris Would hand deliver it with a karate chop to the dean of admissions' head, who you kiddin?