can some one please correct some of the errors that could exist in my follow-up letter?
Asked by calebArmando Rodriguez 1293 Maudis Road Bailey, NC 27807 November 1, 2007 Miss Ashley Berry Communication Instructor Nash Community College P.O. Box 7488 Rocky Mount, NC 27804 Dear Miss Berry: I would like to thank you for making the time to meet with me last week. I have both enjoyed and admired learning about you company and its goals. With the skills I have obtained from Nash Community College as a system administrator, I feel confident I could make a significant contribution to your company. I am very interested in working for you and look forward to hearing from you once the final decisions are made regarding this position. Thank you, once again, for the opportunity to be interviewed for the current opening. Please feel free to contact me at anytime if further information is needed at anrodriguez704@st.nash.edu or you can call me at any time to my cell phone: 252-315-6745. Sincerely, Armando Rodriguez if there is something else that can be add to it, please let me know ok!
Favorite Answer
Answered by Hans B
Looks great just one mistake in the first line; ''...thank you for taking the time...'' not ''making''. On another note, I wouldn't say you ''admired'' learning, its a little inappropriate. We can admire a lot of things, but learning about someones company isn't something I would admire. How about if you say something like this: ''I have both enjoyed and benefited from learning about your company...'' or: ''I have enjoyed learning about your company and its goals and I admire them.'' One last thing, in your closing paragraph try this: "Please feel free to contact me anytime for further information at..." Thats much cleaner and not as wordy but says the same thing. Good luck! I hope you get it.
Looks great just one mistake in the first line; ''...thank you for taking the time...'' not ''making''. On another note, I wouldn't say you ''admired'' learning, its a little inappropriate. We can admire a lot of things, but learning about someones company isn't something I would admire. How about if you say something like this: ''I have both enjoyed and benefited from learning about your company...'' or: ''I have enjoyed learning about your company and its goals and I admire them.'' One last thing, in your closing paragraph try this: "Please feel free to contact me anytime for further information at..." Thats much cleaner and not as wordy but says the same thing. Good luck! I hope you get it.
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