Horrible with Grammar and sentence structure--plus no spell check-- this is a college paper?
Asked by Alyx**Please tell me what you thing---I have always been horrible with the subject English so please keep your rude comments to yourself.** This is just a rough draft...i just need a peer editing i guess... Its suppose to be a reflective analysis.... indigenous Worldview of Yupiaq Culture I found this material so interesting because of the current issues of Western technology, science, and culture that are affecting cultures; mostly the Yupiaq tribe in Alaska. Many of our education classes at Western, teach us to respect and understand other cultures, and try to incorporate their culture into the lesson as we teach it. This will allow for the younger generations to relate and understand their culture and elders. Without the passing of knowledge from the elders to the younger generations; the culture will lose precious knowledge and insight that took the culture and tribes hundreds of years to learn through the passing down of information. Even though this is not being done with any Alaskian Natives, let alone any Natives in America. Each culture is losing their language, traditions, and their identities. The Yupiaq tribe views science and knowledge as observations and through many trial and error experiments. Even though through Western science, we would not include this in science since its not done in laboratories or does not change the course of history. I believe that this is the reason why many of the Alaskian Natives are not doing well in school. The people have come to learn that science is hands-on-learning incorporated with "art, storytelling, guided practices, peer tutoring, hunting, and craftsmanship". Not a "body of knowledge discovered by scientists working in their laboratories" which is how science is being taught to them. Science is a very hard subject to grasp, and when your culture doesn't even have a word for science, its like trying to have a student understand the concept of an atom size. The Yupiaq tribe has learned to make special nets to catch fish, canoes, and have learned when to pick berries at a specific time to have the best benefit to the tribe. This paper also focuses on how as a society only focusing on Euro-American science, we lose knowledge and insight that other cultures that could contribute to our society. The reason we are losing this insight is with the lost of the Yupiaq's culture as stated above. With what I would call the dumbing down of all the cultures, think of all that knowledge that has been lost since it was considered not important enough or "not considered science". The only thing that stumps me about Euro-American science is how did science become what it is today? Western science came about through observations of the sky and stars. So why are people and scientist ruling out so many cultures knowledge? Is there still the concept of white male superiority over minorities? With this attitude, so many ideas and knowledge have been lost since they have been over looked or forgotten. **Please tell me what you thing---I have always been horrible with the subject English so please keep your rude comments to yourself.** This is just a rough draft...i just need a peer editing i guess... Its suppost to be a reflective analysis....
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Answered by laholly1
Alyx, I found your essay to be very interesting, and you are identifying the critical "glue" that binds a society together--art, storytelling, guided practices, peer tutoring, hunting, and craftsmanship". The late Joseph Campbell, perhaps the most highly esteemed scholar of myth, would applaud your insights. The mechanics are easy to fix--it's having a good idea to work with that is the key--and you came up with a good idea. Check your original against the edited copy below; note paragraphs. ******************** The Indigenous Worldview of Yupiaq Culture Many of our education classes here at Western teach us that we should respect and understand other cultures, and make an effort to incorporate our students' culture (or cultures, as the case may be) into our lessons as we teach them. The world view of the Yupiaq tribe in Alaska is decidedly germane to this recommendation. The material concerning the Yupiaq tribe is made even more interesting if we consider it against the backdrop of the current issues of Western technology, science, and culture that are affecting so-called "primitive" cultures--and in particular the Yupiaq tribe in Alaska. For untold generations, it has been the custom of this tribe to pass on knowledge of tribal culture to the younger generations through language, traditions, art, and storytelling. Learning this heritage has allowed for the younger generations to relate to and understand their society and the role of their elders, and thereby to perpetuate the culture. Without the elders and their knowledge, and as age-old traditions are replaced with Western science and technology, the tribe loses its identity and the insight it took to preserve and perpetuate its way of life. The disappearance of the tradition of oral history with Alaskian Natives is simply an extension of the pattern that occurred with all other Native American tribes on the continent. One by one, each one is losing its language, its traditions, and the tribal identity. For the Yupiaq tribe, science and knowledge are practiced in the day to day routines and rituals that involve careful observations and the trial and error learning that living demands. Western science is incomprehensible and stale--lifeless even. It is mice running in cages, men and women in white coats, and pages of notes. It is sterile and does not relate to past, present, or future course of history. I believe that this is the reason why many of the Alaskian Natives are not doing well in school. The people have come to learn that science is hands-on-learning incorporated with "art, storytelling, guided practices, peer tutoring, hunting, and craftsmanship". Not a "body of knowledge discovered by scientists working in their laboratories"--which is how science is being taught to them. Science is a very hard subject to grasp, and when your culture doesn't even have a word for science, it's like trying to have a student understand the concept of the size of an atom. The Yupiaq tribe has learned to make special nets to catch fish, which wood makes the best canoes, and have learned when to pick berries at a specific time to have the best benefit to the tribe. The price we pay for using Euro-American science exlusively is a particular form of "dumbing down"of society as a whole. We have lost our collective knowledge and the collective wisdom that accompanied that knowledge. By diminishing the value of tribal "science" we are coming to recognize that we lose something even more valuable--our connection to the earth and its ways and our connections to each other. Instead of discovering the ways in which other cultures could contribute to our society, we dismiss them as lacking sophistication and understanding. ***** Go over your last paragraph--it seems to move in a different direction and you may want to delete it. Write a concluding sentence, and you should have what you need. Hope this helps.
Alyx, I found your essay to be very interesting, and you are identifying the critical "glue" that binds a society together--art, storytelling, guided practices, peer tutoring, hunting, and craftsmanship". The late Joseph Campbell, perhaps the most highly esteemed scholar of myth, would applaud your insights. The mechanics are easy to fix--it's having a good idea to work with that is the key--and you came up with a good idea. Check your original against the edited copy below; note paragraphs. ******************** The Indigenous Worldview of Yupiaq Culture Many of our education classes here at Western teach us that we should respect and understand other cultures, and make an effort to incorporate our students' culture (or cultures, as the case may be) into our lessons as we teach them. The world view of the Yupiaq tribe in Alaska is decidedly germane to this recommendation. The material concerning the Yupiaq tribe is made even more interesting if we consider it against the backdrop of the current issues of Western technology, science, and culture that are affecting so-called "primitive" cultures--and in particular the Yupiaq tribe in Alaska. For untold generations, it has been the custom of this tribe to pass on knowledge of tribal culture to the younger generations through language, traditions, art, and storytelling. Learning this heritage has allowed for the younger generations to relate to and understand their society and the role of their elders, and thereby to perpetuate the culture. Without the elders and their knowledge, and as age-old traditions are replaced with Western science and technology, the tribe loses its identity and the insight it took to preserve and perpetuate its way of life. The disappearance of the tradition of oral history with Alaskian Natives is simply an extension of the pattern that occurred with all other Native American tribes on the continent. One by one, each one is losing its language, its traditions, and the tribal identity. For the Yupiaq tribe, science and knowledge are practiced in the day to day routines and rituals that involve careful observations and the trial and error learning that living demands. Western science is incomprehensible and stale--lifeless even. It is mice running in cages, men and women in white coats, and pages of notes. It is sterile and does not relate to past, present, or future course of history. I believe that this is the reason why many of the Alaskian Natives are not doing well in school. The people have come to learn that science is hands-on-learning incorporated with "art, storytelling, guided practices, peer tutoring, hunting, and craftsmanship". Not a "body of knowledge discovered by scientists working in their laboratories"--which is how science is being taught to them. Science is a very hard subject to grasp, and when your culture doesn't even have a word for science, it's like trying to have a student understand the concept of the size of an atom. The Yupiaq tribe has learned to make special nets to catch fish, which wood makes the best canoes, and have learned when to pick berries at a specific time to have the best benefit to the tribe. The price we pay for using Euro-American science exlusively is a particular form of "dumbing down"of society as a whole. We have lost our collective knowledge and the collective wisdom that accompanied that knowledge. By diminishing the value of tribal "science" we are coming to recognize that we lose something even more valuable--our connection to the earth and its ways and our connections to each other. Instead of discovering the ways in which other cultures could contribute to our society, we dismiss them as lacking sophistication and understanding. ***** Go over your last paragraph--it seems to move in a different direction and you may want to delete it. Write a concluding sentence, and you should have what you need. Hope this helps.
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