anyone here is fluent in english ? plz tell me if there is something in this essay that has to be changed?
Asked by butterfliesIs there anything wrong with this paragraph? I came to the USA two years ago looking for a convenient University to get a degree in Business Administration. One school with a good reputation and kind and helpful staff members was Montclair State. I applied for it, but unfortunately I was not admitted because I missed some high school credits that I didn’t take at the one that I attended overseas, and therefore I was required to attend a two year college to make them up, and so I did, I attended Essex county college (January 2005-current time) now I need more challenge and I still want to go to MSU. I am a success seeker and a responsible person. My parents moved to the US with me only to support me and that is one more reason for me to work hard so that they can be proud of their daughter. I am interested in the Business Administration major because I want to run my own business in the future. I hope it will be a success, something in the size of Mc Donald’s or Johnson& Johnson.
Favorite Answer
Answered by Lapper
I like it. I've just made a few minor grammatical adjustments. I came to the USA two years ago, looking for a convenient University to get a degree into Business Administration. One school with a good reputation and kind and helpful staff members was Montclair State. I applied for it, but unfortunately I was not admitted because I missed some high school credits that I didn’t take at the school that I attended overseas, and therefore was required to attend a two year college to make them up. Thus, I attended Essex county college (January 2005-current time) Now I need more challenge and I still want to go to MSU. I am a success seeker and a responsible person. My parents moved to the USA with me only to support me, and that is one more reason for me to work hard; so that they can be proud of their daughter. I am interested in a Business Administration major because I want to run my own business in the future. I hope it will be a vast success; something similar in size to McDonald's or Johnson&Johnson.
I like it. I've just made a few minor grammatical adjustments. I came to the USA two years ago, looking for a convenient University to get a degree into Business Administration. One school with a good reputation and kind and helpful staff members was Montclair State. I applied for it, but unfortunately I was not admitted because I missed some high school credits that I didn’t take at the school that I attended overseas, and therefore was required to attend a two year college to make them up. Thus, I attended Essex county college (January 2005-current time) Now I need more challenge and I still want to go to MSU. I am a success seeker and a responsible person. My parents moved to the USA with me only to support me, and that is one more reason for me to work hard; so that they can be proud of their daughter. I am interested in a Business Administration major because I want to run my own business in the future. I hope it will be a vast success; something similar in size to McDonald's or Johnson&Johnson.
Read more questions about Essex County College
- Top Three Things You Need to Know Now!
- Essex County College Costs
- Degrees offered by Essex County College
- Essex County College Enrollment Information
