Help with appeal letter?
Asked by CjsmooveDear Appeals Committee My name is Clayton Council and I attended The University of Bridgeport from August 2008 to May 2009. On June 5, 2009, I received a letter from your office stating that I have been separated from the school due to a low GPA. My first thought when receiving this letter was a great feeling of disappointment in myself and I felt that I’ve let my family down. Yes this is definitely an eye opener that made me realize that I really wasn’t putting my all into my education at UB. Being a freshman in College has been a great challenge especially when you are so used to having curfews and being disciplined by your parent while at home. I’ve let those values get away with me while at College and realize that I need to bring them with me everywhere I go. I’ve entered into College still standing under my Mom wings and wasn’t used to being separated from that security. Although my Mom has brought me up properly, I lacked the sense of responsibility for myself, which is greatly needed in life. I feel as though I have matured considerably as a person, now understanding that I need to be more responsible for my actions and myself. I am now aware of what steps I need to take in order to become a shining student at University of Bridgeport. The reflection of my previous semesters at UB will not be mirrored if you accept me back. My studies will be my first priority. The first thing that I have to do is meet with professors after my classes. Secondly, I will keep myself on the right path to success and will make use of the resources available on campus constantly making trips to the academic resource center for extra help. The student library will be a quiet place for my homework and studies instead of my dorm room. I also plan to repeat my C.S.102 and computer ethics classes this semester and repeating my physics class next semester. With the way of thinking I have now, retaking those will not only increase my grade point average, but will prove that I really have matured. It would prove that I earned my place in the University of Bridgeport. This situation has taught me that I shouldn’t give up when I am faced with adversity. I am eager to take on the challenges ahead and give it my all in order to be successful at UB. This has also taught me that although things look bad now, not give up and definitely do not repeat the same mistakes again. I am ready to take on the challenges that will allow me to achieve success in the future. Success is not something that can be conquered overnight but can be achieved within a lifetime.
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Suggest you leave out the pretty personal sections along any 'life story' veins which begin your letter, and immediately get down to business with this. I am quite sure an appeals committee reads lots of letters by freshmen and would really prefer a simple and direct letter, rather short (shorter by far than what you have here) and indicating mainly your resolve to change. Suggest you delete your first couple of long paragraphs and stick with the last one here. A few words about any REAL "adversity" you encountered (illness? family problems?) are fine, though you can't say that being away from home for the first time is an "adversity" - nearly all freshmen are the same: away from home for the first time. Your writing is fine and I just advise you concentrate on the last paragraph here (no adversities, unless real ones - suggest you use "change" instead of "adversity"). Leave out the "also" following there, so the sentence could read: "This has taught me that though things may look bad now, I will not give up and will definitely not repeat mistakes already made." You can work it. Hope you find the advice given here noteworthy. PS. As a freshman I was also "called to the Dean's office" for very poor performance, and though I did have a documented health problem (hospitalized and operated on, but finished and over)... ...it was by simply and directly stating I'd do better that I was able to continue at the university and DID do a whole lot better.
Suggest you leave out the pretty personal sections along any 'life story' veins which begin your letter, and immediately get down to business with this. I am quite sure an appeals committee reads lots of letters by freshmen and would really prefer a simple and direct letter, rather short (shorter by far than what you have here) and indicating mainly your resolve to change. Suggest you delete your first couple of long paragraphs and stick with the last one here. A few words about any REAL "adversity" you encountered (illness? family problems?) are fine, though you can't say that being away from home for the first time is an "adversity" - nearly all freshmen are the same: away from home for the first time. Your writing is fine and I just advise you concentrate on the last paragraph here (no adversities, unless real ones - suggest you use "change" instead of "adversity"). Leave out the "also" following there, so the sentence could read: "This has taught me that though things may look bad now, I will not give up and will definitely not repeat mistakes already made." You can work it. Hope you find the advice given here noteworthy. PS. As a freshman I was also "called to the Dean's office" for very poor performance, and though I did have a documented health problem (hospitalized and operated on, but finished and over)... ...it was by simply and directly stating I'd do better that I was able to continue at the university and DID do a whole lot better.
